DEAR KAO

Lost beyond
February 15, 2022
Primitive Odour of Love
February 15, 2022

DEAR KAO

Prisca Okeze

Nobody asks me why I don’t wear wigs anymore,

they just assume it has to do with you.

A way of mourning, the lover I never had,

It’s a ritual, everything I do now.

I listen to our song too, with Adam’s voice filling

the silence, and my eyes.

I remember when you first sang it to me,

your horrible baritone being the only

interesting thing. I hated the song.

I fight sometimes, to keep all our memories,

but these days they feel like

a fragment of my imagination. Like you

weren’t real, Kaodini.

 

They do ask me if I really loved you.

I just smile, a distant one, and think about

the first time you cut my hair, when alopecia

first showed up. You held tufts of my hair,

lovingly, and mocked me at the same time, saying

I’d grow bald sooner than papa.

And then you held me.

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