JANUARY 2022 THEME: NEW BEGINNING
& I do not want to write how new resolutions
crisscross the sky in white robes & holy linings
or how the fuzz of uncertainties lurks around
the journey ahead & the nosey eyes of dawn,
it’s like trimming your body to fit in the spaces of salvation,
tell me, what beauty lies in embracing newness in shadows?
for me, I’m starting off with my weaknesses, with what sits
inside of me like a time bomb groaning to explode,
groaning to break my bones to sand & pebbles,
but I long to fetch God into my wreckage, to retrieve my heart
from the dark & suck venoms of loss from my loins.
for me, I want to walk into the year in my true reflection,
a broken song seeking asylum in the harps of angels.
I want to seek beauty in the mundane,
solicit solace from the silence death made clear,
I want to grieve where the birds are singing & flowers are chuckling,
where the sea is at peace with memories of the dead.
for me, I’m walking into the year with open arms,
even in the dimmest of reality, I want to live, bloom & breathe art
like I have accosted a starlight falling straight from the eyes of God.
even the breeze that caresses our faces these days are twin brothers with the wind's wings/flapping us into our mother's wrappers// we run about holding our stomachs the way the pastor says to regurgitate the stones of our heart/ nights like this, we know how to nurture our candles with tender palms & kiss earth a holy dance/ we want to unmask fires from our forehead/
we are not to blame/ our body too, wrinkles into the hands of time/ it is the genesis of a new universe/
last year/ our skins carried scars & smoke their hearts away/ thorns doing wonders in our throats/ here is knife/ there is gun/ safety was no longer a name we rake//
we want to throw ourselves a flower of beautiful scents & blow off the cake's candle too/ not to father broken elations
It's the way the sun shines
The intense fresh spritz of life.
The newly-born foliage suckling,
Their mothers pantomime
In the presence of the hills omnipresence
The morning, after the storm.
It's the way I feel
The caress on the skin
The warmth in my blood
As the Sun's sultry lips brush against my temple.
In this dream stead I see slightly
I pretend it’s only a mirage
Broken with sutures, and
Deep ruts that are lores themselves.
It's the way the sun shines,
The morning after the storm,
Goading me towards a clear path hereon...
When the world made me to relive my nightmares,
You pulled me into an embrace, caressed my cheeks
and whispered in your nightingale-like voice, 'I am here, always'.
When the stars took a break from my life like soldiers on
retreat, you formed walls made with fireflies and fireworks
around me. You screamed, 'We will get through this, together'.
When my life was immune to colours, like the monochrome
television which dad chattered about on moonless nights...
Moonless nights like tonight, I became your palette.
When darkness returned from it's occasional vacation,
You held my hands as we walked through the scary tunnel, as scary as the
horror movies I was forced to watch because my eldest sibling left me no option.
Even the sky mourns your absence for the moon has been drowned
by the tears of a broken heart; by the blood of a wounded soul.
I have been sacrificed to the lone gods by the pain that stabs my heart.
Mother, your phone is ringing. Mother, your daughter is calling. Please! Answer!
How did you become housemates with the darkness, whose life you ended?
How do I swim this ocean of a new beginning on which my sorrow floats?
In the nothingness of the dark,
& the curtain of the tent into which you enter,
Never outward swings.
But again, it is not an end.
It is a disguise to a new beginning...
Were things are born anew,
Minds are warm as wool
& spirits are cheery as sunbeam.
At the break of day is hope,
& the lyrics and siren songs,
Will drop a melody in your heart.